Before you begin: I am not making this up.
The first time I went to South Africa, I went to several game parks. For the uninitiated (Americans), game parks are expansive reserves that are home to wild African animals who roam freely and live their lives while you toddle around dirt roads in a smallish rental car that may - or may not - outrun the herd of elephants you happen upon.
But I digress.
In South Africa, clever marketers coined a term for the rarest sightings in a game park: the Big Five. That stands for the lion, the leopard, the elephant, the buffalo and the rhino. When I left South Africa several years ago, I had spotted four of the five. But I still not seen a lion.
Our friend, Vincent, who is our dear Mamelodi friend, was determined that I would see a lion this time. He made it his own personal mission. He knew just what to do. We would go to Lion Park.
Lion Park is a fakey version of a game park. It's not a zoo. But it's not a game park either. They fence in lions ("fence" being a very loose term.) And you can drive right in to where the lions lounge for an up-close look. All for 80 rand.
As we're driving into the lion camps, there are signs everywhere that say "Keep Car Windows Closed At All Times." This is sound advice when driving around looking at lions, no?
So, we pull right up next to three lions lounging in the sun. They looked like big cats lazing around in a patch of sunshine. Don't get me wrong: They were impressive in size. But they also looked so...lovely pettable. We turned off the car and watched them, a little mesmerized to see lions up close. The biggest lion of them all looked...positively bored. He looked at us with such disdain like: Yawn. People. Again.
He practically rolled his eyes at us. He was a seriously jaded lion.
As we watched, the lion stood to stretch his big strong self against a tree. He picked playfully at the bark. He leaned back in the sun casually.
And then, in a split second.
Without warning, that lazy lion lunged for our car and pounced with all his body weight against the passenger window (Vincent shrieked a little) and then jumped up against Ben's window. Huge paws and all.
So, while this is happening, we're all yelling at Vincent to DRIVE, MAN, DRIVE!!!! while the lion saunters around the car.
And that's. When Vincent stalled the car.
6 comments:
I don't know when I'll stop laughing!!!!!!! How can you end a story about my own flesh and blood like that?
Well Gerry,they really are back in the states and Ben doesn't have seem to have any claw marks. The story is very funny, but only because I know that everyone including Vincent is safe and sound. The first time I heard it I actually thought maybe Anna was making it up and she was rather discusted with me that I was laughing. Deb
The lions in the Lion Park are paid to do tricks, just as when I was a choir boy I was paid to do weddings. If you pay to go in you have to have your windows up, and so you get the tricks. On the other hand (see their web site) you can "volunteer to feed the animals" in which case you get to leave your window down.
Stalling the car is another trick, for which Vincent probably got a free hippo burger out of site, like the other tour guides. But what happened next? Will we have to wait as long for the next instalment? One's tenterhooks can give way...
Just so we're clear, the main reason Ben doesn't have claw marks is that the cat hadn't bothered to extend them. Bet the windows weren't even scratched.
Not that I would have traded places mind ...
We have just had a visit from my brother, Ted. On reading this blog he remarked that it was at this Lion Park that a young Taiwanese man got out of the car to take a better photo, and was not only attacked by a lion, but killed and eaten. His father was so upset that he travelled to SA to demand an apology from someone, but he was unable to find the someone. I'm sure that there is a lesson in there somewhere, but it somehow eludes me. Something about a "Chinese takeout".
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